You know… I get occasional trollish comments, and I just delete them and move on. But this morning I got one that was so nasty that it actually made me cry, and that is just not on.
I used to really enjoy your blog, however i so dislike the direction it has taken. Your journey of knitting and sewing was so awe inspiring! Now it seems to be all about obsessive and compulsive work-outs and weight training, along with low-calorie smoothie recipes, and “clean-eating” tips. If you decide to get off of this self-absorbed obsessiveness and back to sharing your sewing and knitting tips and skills, maybe I’ll return. You had a great blog that has sadly gone down the toilet. You might want to turn the focus off yourself for a change and look around for a more fulfilling focal point.
You know… I really do try to be honest on the blog. If I have something going on I’m going to talk about it, usually good or bad. After I got this message I scrolled back, wondering if I had morphed into a health and lifestyle blog without noticing? Nope… three posts about non-sewing in the past 5 months, and 2 of them were about tea, a different topic to be sure but not one that should inspire such anger. One recipe (which was, thank you, not low calorie, as the whole big smoothie, which I can assure you I drank, had about 350 calories.) Were you concerned about the sweet n low? Because if that bothers you, you wouldn’t want to see what I put in my coffee.
My workouts are not “obsessive.” I workout 5 or 6 days a week for between 35 and 45 minutes. If I have to miss one it does not ruin my life. I’m proud of myself for being healthy, and creating new healthy habits. I certainly don’t post every day about my workouts, except for an occasional mention (as in the year end post.) About the clean eating thing… is there a clean eating diet? Yes. Am I on it? No. When I say that, what I mean is that I’m attempting to eat fewer overly processed foods (um… except the coffee with sweet n low, obviously) as I think many of us are these days! I do like the magazine, because the recipes are great. I am trying to eat more often, but quite frankly that’s good for me, as I’ve always been of the “starve if it’s not a meal” philopsophy of eating, which isn’t super healthy.
And I can understand honest concern, because I have blogged before about my body issues. That’s fair, and I would probably think the same thing. I’ve said I have an obsessive personality, and I do. But I think there is difference – when I say obsessive, what I really mean is that I tend to be driven to learn as much as possible about a given topic, whether that’s sewing, exercise, or even the culture of tea drinking. I’m very knowledge driven – I want to know about things, and I will pursue a topic with great excitement. But that doesn’t mean it takes over my life. There has to be a balance, and at this point in life I know where that is.
I am a real person, and I think it’s easy to forget that over the internet. I likely have interests and things going on in my life that I don’t mention here. It’s easy to feel like you know someone because of their blog, but do you really? Do you assume that because I mention sewing here that all I do all day is obsess about sewing? That I have no friends because I sit sequestered with my machine, sewing until my fingers bleed? I don’t do anything involving these interests for a living, and my blog is a place where I can talk about my interests. Would you say something like this to a real person, someone you know in real life? Because, quite frankly, if that’s the case then I can’t imagine you’re very pleasant to be around. But you probably wouldn’t, because we all forget that on the other side of the internet is a real person.
Lord knows I haven’t given up sewing. I haven’t had a lot of finished things lately, mostly because I’m back in school, working full time, and I have all my performing obligations as well. And quite frankly, if you want to know what’s currently eating my sewing time, it’s my need to finally complete Final Fantasy X. Is that weird and dorky? Yes, but I wear that badge with pride! The balance will swing around again, as it does in life.
It’s also worth noting that no one is anonymous on the internet. Yes, I can see who you are. I can even get an idea of where this anger comes from, but it really doesn’t make me feel much better as the target.
Dear internets: I know this is asking a lot, but maybe we could all learn how to be a little bit less angry, and a little but more understanding.